Contemplation

At one time we were regular guests of the Festival of Folk Arts held in Buda Castle every August. We loved attending this event, it was a bit like sitting in a time machine that took us back to the Middle Ages. Both the place and the event had a special atmosphere. And the special atmosphere was made even more special by a one-time experience.

The old gentleman may have lived somewhere nearby. He was always alone, moving slowly and with difficulty. At every step he seemed to be fighting a battle that was not over yet, but age has essentially defeated him. But it was also clear that although he was aware of the defeat, he had not given up the fight. He had an almost aristocratic posture that could be seen in older people sometimes and that always fascinates me. It is customary to say “to grow old with dignity”. When I see such old people, it always reminds me of the difference between acceptance and tolerance.

He reminded me a little of my grandfather and had a special duality. While his posture still radiated sharpness, his speech was gentle and kind. He always came to us purposefully. He asked if he could look at the jewelry and if it was okay not to buy anything. I encouraged him to just look for pleasure and no problem at all if he didn’t buy. It never bothered me when someone just came to look and the old gentleman was so sympathetic, it was impossible not to like him.

So he set out to take stock of our supply. Literally because he didn’t miss a single piece. He took each one in his hand, looked at it for a long time, and beauty shone from his face. In the meantime, he apologized again and again for disturbing me here, and I reassured him again and again that he wasn't bothering me, just look at it boldly! I couldn’t keep up with him because the customers came one after the other. But when I got a break, I got back to him. We didn't talk much. He admired the jewelry, and I admired his reactions. Sometimes he sighed at how much beauty there was. It seemed a bit like he was trying to absorb as much as possible. He looked like he was feeding his soul with it.

As I stood there and watched him, something came to my mind. Contemplation. This is what only very small children and the elderly can do. Those who don’t have to hurry yet or have to run anywhere anymore. They are the ones who can afford to experience the moment. To observe and experience even the smallest details. Those of us who are in transit between the two states usually no longer afford this luxury. Then I thought of my grandmother, whom I had observed the same deepening before her death. At that time, I lived it as a great teaching. This made me realize how important it is to be able to stop and see the world around us. To absorb the experience. So that we can be where we are. That's always been important. But now, in this “no time for a headache” culture, it’s more important than ever.

In those few years we attended the Festival of Folk Arts, the old gentleman always visited us. Then our lives took a different direction and we didn’t meet again. I don't know what could happen to him, maybe he doesn't even live anymore. At least not among us. But, as the saying goes, no one really dies as long as his memory lives on. And his memory lives on.